My baby turned 4 yesterday and as she likes to constantly tell me, she's grown up now! I can't help feeling a nagging sadness when I realise that her baby years are behind us all now, especially when I look at all the old photos and footage of her... the round little wobbly toddler, squeaking nonsense at me and reaching out to me for support. I am so glad that I recorded the details of our daily lives together, things that she did and said which were her "trademark" of being 1 or 2 or 3, things I would have forgotten if they weren't recorded.
I know that we are all changing and "growing up" all the time, which is unavoidable. I found motherhood such a shock to the system, it took a strain on me physically and emotionally that when I look back it is all a bit of a blur. I tried to make the most of every second, but I know there were times when I was knackered and stressed and wondered if life would ever feel normal again. Of course what I now know is that just when it starts to get easier, they aren't babies anymore! I know what I am saying is nothing new but I think at 4, she seems to have finally shed those last bits of "baby". The fact that I am turning 40 this year is making me feel a bit nostalgic. But having her in my life is a complete privilege and I am grateful for every second I spend with her. I am incredibly proud and continually delighted by her. She is a sweet sensitive soul; imaginative, loving, funny, joyful and a little bit mad!